The DarlingDork- An Inside Look

The essays, the rantings, and the every day happenings of the DarlingDork

What You’ll Find Here February 29, 2012

Filed under: What dost though have in thy mind — DarlingDork @ 4:42 pm

Every day I write an article about a new band, new music, a concert I went to, or some dorky little news piece I read about over on my website What I don’t write over there is the everyday other stuff I love to write about. On an average day, I also write essays, short fiction, articles, reviews for local eateries, as well as what’s happening on my journey to be a published writer. I should say famous writer, but I don’t care about being famous, I want to be read. These are the things I will post here: the personal stuff about the days I feel triumphant and the days I wonder why I ever thought I could be a writer, my opinion on stuff that is going on in the world, essays I have written that I thought were worth reading, and some of my short stories. Some of my language will be colorful and some of my opinions will be controversial. I don’t try to offend anyone, but I am sometimes NSFW. Hop on board and take a ride with me. Let me know what you think, as comments and feedback (kudos people, I love kudos) keep me going. Don’t worry about calling me a crazy bitch, I can take it. It’s nice to have you along for the journey.


The 18 Hour Day June 18, 2012

Filed under: Daily Thoughts & Ranting — DarlingDork @ 9:33 pm

My workdays have been reaching the 18 hour point lately, with managing DarlingDork, working as Operations Manager for Grow Local, and planning the Sunnyslope Food & Wine Festival, oh and school. Yes, I can’t forget about school. Don’t get me wrong, I love it all, but  my 18 hour bra is being pushed to the limit with these 18 hour days. I’ve found that I turn into a real hard ass when working such long hours and I seem to use the word “fuck” a lot more than I normally would. Well…maybe that’s not true. It is indeed one of my favorite words, but I am so over the PC thing that I just say fuck it and say fuck all the time. I’m becoming so focused on my work that I need to get back to my compassionate side. Bitch KD needs to welcome back sweet and loving Kara. She’s still in here somewhere, but I have to say that since moving to Idaho and feeling like I have to prove myself every day, KD has shoved Kara right out of the way. The hardass workhorse has risen.

OK that sounded really schizophrenic. Sorry.

The festival looks like it’s going to be a lot of fun and Kimberley Locke among others will be there. I know other celebrities but I am too shy to ask them to participate, especially since we aren’t fully funded yet. Sponsorships in this small town are not as easy to come by as they would be in say Portland, but we are persevering and we will have an excellent event to put on the old resume.

I will keep you updated on my sanity as the darling-operations-school-festivus for the restuvus continues.



Livin’ the Dream April 24, 2012

I seemed to have manifested myself a sweet little writing gig. At the beginning of the year, when I was determined I was going to make something of my writing career and stop “pretending to be a writer” as my husband calls it, I dedicated myself to writing for my website DarlingDork. I quit my job, put all my energy into my website, and made a pact with myself that I was going to be a full time writer. It worked.

Almost immediately, I began to work with music PR companies and the music part took over my site. I love music writing, but I was worried I would lose the dork part I so easily relate to. I wanted the focus of my website to be on things I love that wasn’t all consumed by one topic, but embraced who I am as a  pop culture lover. See, I’m one of those people that my friends call when they can’t remember who that band was that sang that song where they’re dressed like Tarzan and swing on ropes or who Arnold’s nemesis was on Different Strokes. I have awesome useless knowledge like that floating in my head and I wanted to put it to good use. I took a step back and analyzed what I wanted and I kept saying, “I wish I could figure out how to get free comics and write about them.”

Not long after that, I began to get more writing jobs than I have ever had before. I am freelancing more than ever, I am working on my site with 2 other really fabulous writers, and get this…I get free comics. Which is why I started writing this post in the first place. As of late, I am the comics editor at, which I am just crazy about doing. Forces of Geek is a really rad website that celebrates geek culture/pop culture and has a number of diverse writers. The Editor in Chief is kind of crazy awesome with his patience and how modest he is, and he is enthusiastically helping me along my writing career by making connections for me. I’m slightly in awe. I think the fan girl comes out of me way too often and I recently saw someone speak about never letting your fan boy side come out because it takes away your professionalism. Thank goodness I have a behind the scenes blog, so I can gush. Gush…gush…gush. Ok, I’m done.

The morale of the story is whether you believe in manifestation or not, it seems that focus is key in any endeavor.



The Blue Moose Cafe- in which I use the word amazing about 10 times March 11, 2012

Filed under: Good Eats — DarlingDork @ 1:04 pm
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Yesterday, while out at The Blue Moose Cafe in Eagle for a restaurant review, we met the most amazing people. People who weren’t afraid to sit down and tell us why they love their neighborhood restaurant and its owner. I have to say this is one of the best times I have ever had when doing a review. Usually, the staff and patrons see me with a notebook and are either overbearing or ask loudly if I am a food writer. Unless I ‘m doing an interview, I prefer that no one know I’m doing a review. That way I get the same treatment as the average patron that walks in the front door. I could be a patron just writing my novel while eating my dinner. Think JK Rowling.

Anyway, back to my visit. (more…)


My “I, Anonymous” in the Portland Mercury March 4, 2012

Filed under: What dost though have in thy mind — DarlingDork @ 5:20 pm
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Back in 2008, when I was starting my full time writing career, I read an article about violent attacks happening as a result of Craigslist encounters. People were meeting up via the “Casual Encounters” area and things went bad. Apparently, the powers that be were interested in using the “Casual Encounters” meetups ending in violence to nix the ads for hookers, which are a totally different area of the advertising giant’s site. It’s a bit unnerving to see that political agendas get used rather than trying to find criminals lurking in the shadows of Craigslist. I wrote a response and sent it off to the Portland Mercury. It was printed. Check it out.


Wil Wheaton you’re killing me…. February 29, 2012

Filed under: What dost though have in thy mind — DarlingDork @ 7:04 pm
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Most all of my friends know of my undying love for Wil Wheaton. Yes, Wil was the first person who ever gave me those vag-tastic sparkly feelings. I cut out every full size Tiger Beat and Big Bopper page with his beautiful face on it, and plastered my tacky, wood grain paneled, bedroom wall with them. I read his blog, was ecstatic when he joined The Guild, jump for joy when he shows up on Eureka and Big Bang (even if he is evil), and became a Twat, because I liked to read his Twitter feeds. No sir, I am not obsessed, I just appreciate wit.
Now on to my reason for writing this little tribute to the almighty Geek God; (more…)

My Problem with the Bullsh…I mean the Rapture

Ok, I’ve been having way to much fun with this whole rapture bullshit. To me the word rapture means two things…A really fucked up place I would never want to live circa BioShock and having a really superb orgasm at the hands of a very talented partner. This is rapture, my friends. So here is breakdown of the events to come and the best and most humorous part of this whole thing.

“The apocalypse will strike on May 21, wherever it happens to be 6 p.m.” Well…it is 5 o’clock somewhere and that is why I am taking my journey through the Rapture with Kahlua in hand.

Apparently, “that means it will be Friday night in America when what Camping calls “super terrible” earthquakes will hit the New Zealand region.” but why NZ? Wait….Why do they get to feel the rapture first?

“The earthquakes will then roll on, time zone by time zone.” Fucking wait a minute? Why does God go by time zones? Is he stopping in each time zone and saying “do you believe? how about you? do you believe? because we gotta get the Celtics fans up before we get to the Lakers fans, or there’s gonna be hell to pay.

“The saved, perhaps 2% to 3% of the world population, will be whisked to God, while the rest will be obliterated in what he calls “a super horror story.” Only 2-3% are gonna be whisked? Why only 2-3%? Because I saw a pie chart on the interwebs and like 33% of the worlds population is Christian, so what gives?

Ok, so I live scarily close to one of the largest “super volcanoes” in the world, and it’s like 6:45pm in New Zealand and old Jellystone is still quiet, so I’m thinking the rapture is about done. Maybe I can talk hubby into some good old fashioned Rapture!!!

Cheers to the end of the world, my loves!


Voodoo Donuts

Filed under: Essays,Good Eats — DarlingDork @ 6:27 pm
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The nightlife is dying down, the city is coming to a quiet halt, as friends and club hoppers say their goodbyes and head home, and we end our jaunt through the city we love with one final destination. We pass so many odd and mysterious places that make Portland what it is; the 24 hour Church of Elvis, Ground Kontrol, our favorite retrocade, and the historic buildings that carry tales of ghosts and speak-easies, but only one Portland icon carries what we want, and can be found with a line stretching haphazardly around the block at 2:00am. Voodoo Donuts is our “last call” stop for coffee and donuts, after six hours of absorbing music, lights, and video games. We see some of the same faces, who shared our experience tonight, and wanted to end the night with the same gooey sweetness we had in mind.

As we make our way to the front of the line, decisions must be made. Will it be the Memphis Mafia, or what I like to call the “fat Elvis”, peanut buttery banana goodness that took me 3 days to eat last time I ordered it. The Triple Chocolate Penetration, a chocolate donut, with chocolate frosting, topped with Coco Puffs. Keeping Portland “weird” requires a touch of raciness as well, so of course the favorites of many are “Maple Blazer Blunt” with its lit tip, the “Cock and Balls” or the “Dirty Snowball”.

Of course, when it came time to start planning my nuptials last year, Voodoo was one of the places we considered saying “I do”. We didn’t end up getting married there, but it will end up on the list of possibilities again, when it comes time to renew our vows. As one of Portland’s iconic stops, it is a great place to create non-traditional traditions like going back to renew wedding vows every 5 years, or having it be the last call stop, to slow the hangover process. They will even ship me my favorite donuts, so that I can have a little piece of the hometown that I miss so much. I could freeze them, and have them readily available for those mornings I wake up with the remnants of the previous night’s “game night” wine.

All hail Voodoo, for letting us be a little crazy, a little drunk, and have a little fun, when we are doing something so benign as ordering a donut.